Birthday musings

Hello, wonderful people!

After three weeks in Pittsburgh, I celebrated my thirty-sixth birthday last Wednesday. It was a bittersweet day, filled with reminders of how much I love my profession and with the joy of celebrating with Peter, but also with a deepening sense that I'm far from home and out of my element. While I appreciated Boston's beauty as a city of abundant greenspace, I grew to love it deeply as a place of emotional, spiritual, and occupational wholeness and community, as my home. The nearly seven years I've spent there so far are the longest I've lived anywhere as an adult, close to the longest I've lived any place ever. The transition from a place of familiarity coupled with the passing of another year is a liminal space for self-assessment as I enter a new phase of life.

I'm not thrilled about moving away from the wonderful security of my Boston support network to a city I associate with the Rust Belt and repeated blood draws. However, moving to Pittsburgh is the safest, most prudent way to care for my health at this time. So I move on, not suppressing or ignoring unpleasant feelings, but letting them run their course as I keep moving forward.

Despite any sadness I have due to leaving Boston, I'm grateful that my status on the transplant list has advanced enough to make this move a logical and appropriate one. I'm grateful that my husband's job allows him the flexibility to work from home, wherever that home might be. I'm grateful that between the Affordable Care Act and Peter's excellent insurance, there's no cap on coverage for transplant medical bills that could top $800,000. I'm grateful that we found a tenant for our Boston apartment before we left for Pittsburgh. I'm grateful for all the love still flowing from Boston, the cards and texts and phone calls and emails and Facebook posts, all rephrasing the kindness and generosity I've received in abundance over the past year and a half. I'm grateful for the gracious Pittsburgh hospitality of Peter's high school friend and his wife, who have become my friends as well. Despite the stress of so many changes, I'm blessed with a really good life.

My birthday prayers are for a more peaceful world, greater compassion, and deeper connection with others. The transplant will happen when it's time. Well, I'm off to the symphony to hear Sibelius, Smetana, Prokofiev, and Bruch as the final gift of my birthday week. It's going to be a good year!

13/Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra 9